


The Choices We Least Regret

by JadeviBritannia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But also, Eren is Levisexual, F/M, Fem!Levi, Fluff, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Levi is a woman, M/M, Rule 63, Smut, Story told from Eren's POV but written in third person, That's it that's the plot, Unreliable Narrator!Eren, Vaginal Sex, but is hiding it from everyone, but just in Eren's brain, canonverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:55:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeviBritannia/pseuds/JadeviBritannia
Summary: Eren stared at Levi, looking at the dips and hollows of her body. Levi glared, crossing her arms and drawing Eren's attention back to the slight swell of Levi's chest, which was secured with a bandeau, peeking underneath her white button down. A swell which Eren had NOT expected, in all his years of imaging Levi bare underneath him. Not at all."Had your fill yet?"Eren stared, disbelieving. His hand twitched and ached to follow the paths his eyes had taken, relearning the new contours of Levi's partially unclothed body - but he stopped himself. Levi was not all how his brain conjured him up, but Eren wholeheartedly believed that Levi was still capable of breaking the bones of his hand if he ever attempted to touch her without her permission. "But - how?"Levi rolled her eyes. "I was always like this, Eren. You assumed I was a man, and I just didn't bother correcting you."--In which Eren is besotted with his entirely male Captain and finds out that all his preconcieved notions about Levi are incorrect. He falls in love with the person behind the moniker anyway.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	The Choices We Least Regret

“Eren.”

“Eren.”

_“Eren!”_

Eren started, dropping his spoon on the table with a clatter that was drowned out by the racket in the Survey Corps' Mess Hall. Armin was looking at him with fond exasperation, belying his irritation at having been ignored for the past few minutes. Eren rubbed the back of his head, smiling sheepishly as he ducked and tried to focus on his porridge, which had gone cold in the interim.

“What was it again, Armin?”

“Nothing, it wasn't important." Armin waived it off, honing on to the new topic like a dog with a bone to pick. Eren felt like he probably deserved it. "Honestly though, Eren, stare anymore harder and you’d be boring holes into the Captain’s back _._ You’ve been doing it for years, it’s a wonder the Captain hasn’t called you out on it.” Armin continued, waving his spoon, almost elbowing Mikasa in his enthusiasm. Mikasa jerked out of the way, brow furrowed.

"He's either oblivious to it, given how much he tries to ignore people simpering to him, or he's ignoring that altogether, since you have to spend so much time on a daily basis. It'd probably be awkward." Armin mused. Eren blanched.

“Captain Levi’s probably ignoring it, with how raptly Eren’s been trying to undress him with his eyes.” Jean teased good-naturedly, arriving at the table in time to hear the last snippets of the conversation. He sat down beside Eren, jostling him in the process. Eren winced, rubbing at his shoulder and glaring balefully at Jean, trying to ignore the fact that his ears were turning red in embarrassment. Jean grinned, and turned his attention to his own plateful of porridge.

Connie and Sasha arrived in tow, bringing their own meals. “What did we miss?”

“Just Eren staring at the Captain, like that’s something new.” Armin said. They both laughed, settling in on the table and starting on their meal with gusto. With how often they caught Eren's teal eyed gaze following the Captain's figure within _and_ outside of the Survey Corps' base, it wasn't something out of the norm; but they ribbed Eren every now and then about it. Eren was thankful the two of them were focusing more on the food rather than on him this time.

Mikasa rolled her eyes, continuing on as if she was not interrupted by Connie and Sasha’s appearance. “I don’t get your fascination with that midget captain, Eren. It’s not like he’s particularly good looking - he’s crass and too obsessed with shit jokes, and they’re not even funny. He hasn't even apologized for beating you up!"

Eren groaned. "How many times do I have to tell you, Mikasa? He didn't need to apologize, I perfectly understood why he had to do that! And it's been ages - would you stop being so hung up about it? And - and he looks perfectly fine! Stop saying that!"

Mikasa scoffed. "Say what you want, he'll still pay for it, regardless of whether you're moony eyed or not." Eren sputtered. “What – that’s not it, Mikasa! I just admire him, okay? He’s strong – he’s _Humanity’s Strongest Soldier_ , that's a universally known truth, and he uses the ODM gear so well that he looks like he’s flying – I just want to be good enough, to be at his level, alright?” 

Mikasa looked unconvinced, pulling her scarf up so it covered her chin and her mouth. Eren took that at a sign to continue his rambling, paying no attention to the raucous discussion Connie, Jean and Sasha were now having regarding the merits of properly boiled potatoes. Eren felt like he was digging himself into a deeper hole the more he explained himself, but he soldiered on, running his mouth. 

“It’s just – so many things have happened - Trost, Annie, Gunther, Eld, Olou, and oh god, _Petra,_ and Reiner and Bertholt – I’ve made so many wrong choices along the way, it’s a miracle he hasn’t dropped me by the wayside yet. He’s done so much for me, is still doing so much, and I couldn’t, can’t even–” Eren broke off, clenched his hands, and took a deep breath. “I just want him to rely on me, too…” Eren finally trailed off, voice taking on a morose tone. He didn't mean for the conversation to take on a darker tone - hadn't meant to say that out loud, but it was now up in the air and he couldn't swallow the words back into his mouth.

His chest ached. He chanced a look at Levi, who sat a few benches away with his back to him at the Officers' table, chatting with Hange and Erwin and sipping his tea in the peculiar way that Eren stupidly found comfort in.

Mikasa finally took pity on him, patting his shoulder but not saying a word. Eren was thankful she wasn't pointing out his rather roundabout confession of his actual feelings, or rather, the fact that the depths of those feelings ran deeper than what a normal subordinate would feel for his captain. Armin took a page from Mikasa's book and ignored the elephant in the room - Eren's affection for the Captain. Eren was thankful for that. With Armin and Mikasa knowing how he felt, it made it harder for him to lie to himself; made it more difficult to ignore his feelings. Eren sighed, rubbing his palms over his face, his porridge forgotten.

Armin patted his hand sympathetically. While Armin hadn't interacted much with the old Levi squad, Eren thought that at least Armin understood that they meant a lot to him, and that their deaths had been a difficult blow to absorb. It was weighing him down now, even when years had passed. The titan shifters' betrayal had been the cinch to the coffin, and Eren thought that Armin, despite all the teasing he gave Eren about Captain Levi, at least knew where Eren was coming from.

True enough, Armin stopped teasing him and looked at him commiseratingly, paying no heed to the shine in Eren's eyes which weren't there a few moments ago. “The choices we least regret, right?”

“Right.” Eren echoed.

\--

Eren's midmorning task had been to weed the courtyard, but it was such a mind numbing task which Eren had done so many times working with Captain Levi that he soon got lost in his thoughts. Rubbing his fingers against the blades of grass, Eren thought about the conversation he had with Armin and Mikasa, particularly her pointed comment as to why he found the Captain so captivating.

The thing is, Eren isn’t entirely unaware when his fascination with Captain Levi started; like in most cases in Eren’s life, it started with a memory.

The memory of the symbol of liberty, in fact.

He’s a child when he first sees the wings, unfurled but laid together almost like two upheld palms on the soldiers' green capes as they trotted along the Shiganshina main road on the way outside the Walls. Their coordinated capes moved with the wind, the wings flying to and fro across their backs, and in that moment Eren was reminded so much of birds flying across the sky that the first thirst for freedom bloomed in his chest. 

As a child, he probably brushed aside the looks of terror and trepidation on the soldiers' faces as they rushed out, most presumably to face their own deaths in the face, so it came as a shock to see the Survey Corps' come back, bloody, beaten and downtrodden, considerably fewer in number, mumbling apologies to the loved ones of soldiers who never made it back. 

Despite that, Eren hadn't wavered, was adamant in his dream to join the Survey Corps, lost in the pursuit of freedom, of seeing the world beyond the Walls.

And then Shiganshina had fallen, lost to the rumbling footsteps of Titans who had stolen everything from Eren.

Suddenly, it was all he could ever see, all that remained - the drive for liberty, justice, and revenge. He spent years digging up troughs, muddying his hands, and blistering under the heat of the sun in the open fields, toiling for the sake of survival. All the while, he dreamt of the crunch of his mother's bones within the Titan's massive jaws. The nightmares always woke him with a gasp, a scream dying in his throat that had woken both Armin and Mikasa at times, but the fear and helplessness had fueled him, the rage simmering within his gut.

Later on, when he came of age, he joined the military and spent years forming calluses in his palms from using the ODM gear, massaging circulation back to his limbs due to the tightness of the harnesses, and cracking open blisters on the soles of his feet from trying to break in his boots. He honed his endurance and built up his strength. But even after all the training, he's _still_ not good enough, he's never enough. If all he ever had was his blustering determination, and other soldiers had even less than that, what could they even hope to achieve?

And then Eren saw _him_.

_Captain Levi_ , the townspeople breathed, reverent, watching the parade of the Survey Corps in Trost. Astride his horse, Captain Levi was dwarfed by his own mount. He was slight, but carried himself with grace and strength Eren hadn't expected from someone so small. He had a scowl on his delicate face, argentine eyes narrowed, overall giving him an aloof air. Strong, but untouchable. _Like bamboo_ , Eren thinks instead, remembering the plant in Armin's books about the world outside. _Beautiful, supple, but beyond his reach._

When the Captain's horse passed by him, Levi's narrowed gaze found him and for a second, Eren wanted to reach out and grab anything and everything, in order to keep that gaze on him. The sudden, unexpected gaze was magnetic; electric, and made Eren feel like he was airborne, like he could taste the sweetness of freedom and revenge between his lips.

_He's Humanity's Strongest Soldier._ The townspeople would whisper, over and over again, that the repetition of it sang as truth in Eren's limbs, sitting in the darkness of the cadet barracks and later on, in the cells below the military courts. He whispered the Captain's name under his breath, and thought of wings over a green landscape.

Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Captain Levi _._

_Levi_.

But more than that, it reverberated in his bones, suffused his whole being - Captain Levi wasn't just Humanity's Strongest Soldier, but he was also a symbol.

To Eren, he had become a symbol of hope, that they could fight back against the Titans, and a symbol of freedom, that there was life beyond existing like cattle within the Walls.

_A symbol of liberty._

\--

Eren felt the pedestal he'd placed the Captain on crash down to land when he felt the solid strength of the Captain's kick make an impact to his jaw, knocking out his tooth. He'd been outraged, trembling in anger, feeling the blood run down his nose, his mouth and even the side of his head, as he stared into the Captain's eyes. The narrowed gaze revealed nothing, and Eren closed his eyes when he saw another kick incoming. Dimly, he felt the impact to his ribs, to his back, and just waited for the pain to end.

_Endure_ . His instincts told him. _There is a rhyme and reason for this._ It whispered to him with a surety beyond his own reasoning.

When the whole ordeal had ended, he was glad to have listened to his instincts. As Hange tended to his injuries, he cast a look at the Captain, who had positioned himself against the well with his arms crossed, eyes focused on Eren. He shifted his gaze away, unable to look into his eyes. Hange tsked, berated Levi for being too rough, and continued patting the cotton and gauze against the bruises on Eren's face with a tenderness and steadiness he had not expected the slightly manic woman to have. He supposed that he was being stereotypical, but she had come to his life so quickly, manically gazing at him through the bars of his cell prior to the trial, that Eren hadn't had the time to think of anything else besides the fact that she seemed to have a few screws loose inside her head. He presupposed, following introductions, that the Survey Corps was just a band of misfits, in which case he felt he belonged. He was a monster.

"Eren." He flinched when the Captain sat beside him on the couch. The Captain faced him and crossed his arms, staring at him evenly. "Do you resent me?" The Captain's voice was placid, without inflection, like he didn't care how Eren had responded, but Eren had felt like he was stepping on a minefield and tried to be careful in formulating his response.

"No - it hurt, but I understand why you did it; it was the only way to save my life." Eren took a deep breath, winced, and put a hand on his chest, feeling his body twinge with every rattling breath he took. Eren felt more than saw the Captain's eyes zeroing in on the placement of his hand. He focused his gaze on his own fist, mechanically clenching and unclenching his fingers. He had lost feeling in them, tied as he was during the trial.

"Alright." The Captain's voice was soft, bleeding with a little bit of warmth in it, and it was so astonishing to hear that Eren had reflexively glanced up and locked his eyes with the Captain. The Captain looked into his eyes for a few moments, and seemingly satisfied with what he saw there, pursed his lips and lowered his gaze, looking all over Eren as if he was assessing the injuries of his own make. He looked just the tiniest bit worried, brow furrowed.

Eren tried to ignore the small burst of warmth in his chest.

Finally, appeased that Hange had at least seen to all of Eren's injuries, the Captain once again locked eyes with Eren. As Eren gazed back into steely eyes which revealed more life than there had been when they were in the courtroom, Eren thought to himself, _like bamboo_. 

_Beautiful, and supple, and beyond my reach._

\--

"Captain, I'm sorry! If I just decided to transform and take on the Female Titan by myself, it wouldn't have happened!" Eren gasped, the words punching out of his body with the effort to stifle his sobs. 

"I- I made a mistake. If I just made the right choice, we wouldn't have lost Gunther, Olou, Eld, and Petra.." Saying the squad's names felt like it had the air of finality, like it had finally settled in his bones that his squad was gone. All the way back to Karanese District he had been floating in a state of disbelief and denial, unable to even look into Captain Levi's direction, who was riding alongside the cart where he was resting on. He was afraid of what he might see in those steely eyes, afraid of the resentment that must be brewing in that stormy gaze. 

After all, Eren had just killed off his whole team, the team he had handpicked to be his companions. Eren felt like a failure. It was his mistake, his decision, that had cost his team their lives.

Captain Levi sighed, and in the whole expanse of room where the six of them used to draw breaths together, it was insanely loud in the ensuing silence. Eren grasped both of his hands, trying to stop them from shaking. It was difficult - he could still see their mangled bodies and lifeless eyes. The images would probably follow him into his nightmares, too.

"We try to make the best decisions we least regret, considering the circumstances. Sometimes, it works out, but sometimes, it doesn't work out the way we want it." Captain Levi sighed again, heavy with unknown, lingering hurts, before picking up his tea and taking a small sip. Eren felt even worse, like he was unloading his emotions on the Captain who had probably lost too many of his comrades in such little time. 

"How do you deal with it?" Eren asked, his voice small. He stared at the Captain's hand grasping his cup in that strange way, small, but graceful, candle-like fingers belying the strength within that could have crushed the cup in a matter of moments. The Captain was silent, and for a long while all Eren heard was the sound of Captain Levi sipping his tea. He tried to make himself as small as possible, feeling vulnerable, like his bones were outgrowing his own skin. He felt out of depth, adrift in the maelstrom of his own emotions. His tears continued to fall silently, dripping into his clasped hands. The Captain finished his drink, rinsed his cup, and stood by the sink, his back to Eren. 

Eren thought it was poetic justice. He probably deserved it. He shouldn't have been in Levi's team - he should be left behind. He was a monster. Finally, Captain Levi spoke. "Sometimes, when it doesn't work out.. we deal with the consequences of our decisions and move forward. That's all we can ever do." 

Eren closed his eyes. He bit his lip so hard, he drew blood. He didn't transform because he didn't want to. He wanted to disappear into the night, to fade with the wind, so his regrets couldn't catch up with him. His heart hurt.

_"Eren."_

Eren opened his eyes, and Captain Levi was standing in front of him. He crouched down, and tried to peer into Eren's eyes when Eren adamantly refused his gaze.

"Eren." Captain Levi said firmly, in a way that brooked no argument. "We are soldiers. We go into battle dedicating our hearts and bodies to the mission. Our team's mission was to protect you and get you back here safely, nothing else. Our squad went into that mission with the understanding that they could lose their lives carrying out that missive. They knew the risks - you have to understand that, Eren. Don't belittle the choices they made."

Eren nodded dumbly. Captain Levi stood up, brushing away the imaginary lint sticking to his pants. "And Eren - despite everything that had happened, they would have been happy to know that you got back here safely - that their mission was accomplished."

Eren sobbed, feeling like his heart was going to burst, that he almost missed it when Captain Levi's hand brushed against his face for a quick moment, wiping away the tears gathering at the corner of his right eye, before finally reaching up to ruffle his hair. The Captain then left the room, leaving Eren to his stunned silence, a flush slowly creeping up his face when his brain caught up that the Captain had actually touched his face, had tried to comfort him.

Eren's half drank tea had gone tepid but his Captain's hand - _Levi’s_ hand when it had brushed his face - 

_it had been warm._

  
  


\-- 

In hindsight, Eren should have taken being told off by Armin as a sign that the day was going to be terrible. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice someone creeping up on him until he felt a palm smack upside his head.

" _Ow!_ That hurt!" Eren glared, whirling around, fingers curling into the grass he just pulled from the courtyard. If it was Jean he was going to throw it at him, grass and dirt and all. The asshole deserved it. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't horse-face, but Levi, who was dressed in his normal outfit for cleaning _. Levi,_ who was looking more annoyed by the minute.

Eren paused. He wondered just when his own brain decided to call the Captain with just his name, _Levi_ , rather than with his whole moniker. It had felt so gradual, and so natural, that he hadn’t even noticed when he had first consciously thought of it. _Probably after that time you broke down in front of him, all those years ago,_ his inner voice, so eerily sounding like Armin, told him in a matter of fact tone, like it was just dispensing information about the weather and not about the fact that Eren had essentially removed all his established barriers and was essentially laying claim to Levi. In his own head, but _still._

"It's supposed to, brat. I've been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes." Levi huffed, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. With his white handkerchiefs covering his hair and shielding his face from both dirt and dust, the image was so reminiscent of Mikasa in the rare instances when she got angry that Eren almost got whiplash when Levi none too gently smacked him again.

"Oi, Eren, pay attention. Are you done shitting or whatever it is you're doing?" Levi said irritably. He looked like he was sweltering in the heat, with both the jacket and the cravat around his neck. The Captain removed the handkerchiefs, wiped his hand on his face, and looked so disgusted at the amount of sweat he wiped off that Eren frantically went back to pulling weeds. He didn't want to risk getting Levi more irritated than he already was.

He also wanted to suggest to his Captain to lose the jacket so he could remove unnecessary layers off his body, but Levi was known for being a stickler for rules and just all about refused to remove his jacket when he was on active duty that Eren just took it as a lost cause. There had been rumors that the Captain had gross scars, or large, crazy tattoos, and was just using the uniform to hide them from eyesight to prevent any awkwardness. Eren had actually seen Hange suggest to Levi on more than one occasion to remove his jacket (and in one instance, to remove his shirt) and they had received a smack to the head for the suggestion each and every time. In one of those instances, Hange had just laughed uproariously and had screeched, _“Take it off, take it off!”_ at the top of their lungs while Levi visibly contemplated murder. Eren shook his head at the memory, remembering fondly that Levi had later on shoved Hange into the lake as payback at the earliest opportunity - it had been well known even back then that Hange hated baths with a passion.

Regardless, Eren just wasn’t keen on getting smacked three times in a row. 

Eren thought that the rumors surrounding Levi were crazy and it didn’t matter whether Levi had any body deformities or scars and was using his jacket to keep them hidden - the captain had ascended beyond physical beauty in his eyes. _Not that he wasn’t attractive to look at_ , Eren thought, flushing lightly, but it was the principle of the thing. He raised his line of sight just a little bit and appreciated the way Levi’s boots melded tightly to his calves and the way the harnesses accentuated the clean and elegant lines of Levi’s body. He could almost imagine Mikasa rolling her eyes at the way his thoughts were going off tangent. Eren shook his head and pulled more rigorously at the stubborn weeds. He didn't need more punishment than what Levi was already planning for him - he could practically feel the gears of Levi’s mind working on it. It would just be his luck that he'd be punished to muck out the stables, with the trajectory his day was taking.

“You were supposed to be finished weeding the courtyard before midday.” Captain Levi commented, crossing his arms across his chest. “What are you spacing out for?”

  
Eren winced and stood up, thinking that he was better off standing for this conversation. “I was just taking a break and got lost in my thoughts, momentarily, Captain.” _I can’t exactly say I was thinking about you,_ Eren thinks. 

“Hmmm.” Levi hummed in a deceptively mild tone, uncrossing his arms and studying his fingernails almost disinterestedly for any dirt which might have previously escaped his notice. Eren squirmed in place, bracing himself. “You can then be lost inside your head while weeding the entire courtyard up to the training grounds - that should give you enough time, right? Of course, you are to stay here until it’s clear and spotless to my liking - that means no ODM gear training for you until you’re done here. Am I understood?”

“Understood, Captain.” Eren noted glumly. He hated missing out on ODM gear training out of all the combat exercises they had to do. There was something truly freeing about flinging his body into the air and feeling weightless for those few moments before gravity exerted its force to bring his body down.

And he’d miss seeing his captain in action too. Eren sulked, getting more upset with himself by the minute. Watching his captain execute complex ODM maneuvers was the highlight of ODM training exercises because he’d get to watch the captain and not be teased about getting all worked up over it, since everyone else watched him too. The Captain probably knew all about it, because he saw Eren’s agitated expression, chuckled softly, and squeezed Eren’s shoulder. Eren stopped breathing, trying to control his expression, but he could feel the blush coming over his face.

As usual, he felt like he was blowing things way out of proportion, but Levi took so many liberties casually touching him in some form or manner - it didn’t happen often, not enough to desensitize Eren, but he was hypersensitive whenever Levi was concerned anyway that every accidental touch always felt like a godsend. It would be a tap or a squeeze on the shoulder; sometimes Levi would sit close enough to Eren that he would be able to feel the Captain’s body heat, and even once, Levi had brushed his fingers against Eren’s lightly when Eren had handed him his cup of tea. Eren thought Levi might have been doing it unconsciously, because his expression never wavered and it never lasted more than a few seconds before it became socially awkward, but Eren hoarded each and every moment jealously, anticipating the next touch with barely bated breath. Every brush of skin and whisper of Levi’s clothing against his just fed the flames of yearning inside his heart, but he didn’t reach back or initiate one himself; he felt that once he did attempt to touch, he might not be able to stop. Even worse, Levi might realize what was happening, be disgusted with Eren, and stop touching him altogether.

So everytime it happened Eren told himself that it was _nothing_ , that he was just grateful that Levi seemed comfortable enough sharing his space as compared to his aversion to others, but by nighttime his brain would be tired of coming up with excuses and he would dream the impossible, that he had taken that extra step forward, grabbed Levi’s hand, and interlaced their fingers together. He imagined scenarios where he touched Levi’s face, his lips, and crushed their mouths together, tongues sliding wetly while every part of their bodies remained in intimate contact. He would touch himself to these fantasies, savoring Levi’s name while he mouthed it silently, over and over, until he came all over himself, hand on his spent cock, but more often than not he would lie awake in his bed, letting the bittersweet ache build until it followed him in dreams. 

Eren tried to reorganize his thoughts, willed the blush to go away, and refocused on Levi. _It’s nothing_ , he reminded himself. 

“If you do things up to my standards when I come to check on you next, I might consider letting you observe the new cadets’ ODM training tomorrow which I will be supervising.” Levi continued, cocking his hip. Eren brightened at that statement, and in response, Levi raised an almost perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Spotless, Eren, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Captain!” Eren beamed. He loved it when Levi made the tiniest concessions for him; they weren’t all that exceptional but for Levi who always followed orders, these moments had always felt momentous. 

“Knock it off, Eren, that just looks creepy as fuck.” Levi said bluntly, but there was a slight quirk of his lips that told Eren he didn’t really mean it, so Eren smiled even wider. Levi released a slight airy laugh again, disguising it quickly with a cough. He turned his head to the side, almost like he was avoiding eye contact, but Eren saw the tips of his ears turn slightly red.

_Cute_. Eren thought. He was far too aware that saying that particular thought might result in his broken kneecaps, so he tried to take his mind off the gutter before his brain decided to imagine how far down the flush went, and how lovely it would look against the paleness of Levi’s skin. His brain didn’t need the additional ammunition for his fantasies; he was already struggling with just his overly active imagination and his never-ending libido.

Levi coughed again, and straightened. The flush was gone, almost as if Eren had imagined it, and the Captain’s face was impassive and neutral once again. Eren mourned the loss of that tiny smile and flush just a little bit.

“You’d better be done by the time I come back, Eren. Otherwise, you’ll be mucking the stables after breakfast with Jean, and I’m sure you’re looking forward to that.” Eren groaned inwardly, and Levi smirked. “Get to it, brat.”

Levi placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder again, squeezed lightly, and finally stepped away with those parting words. 

\----

Eren felt the sun shining on his face, burning his eyelids, and he burrowed his face further into bed, hiding his face. His lips met warm skin, the clean scent wafting from the space where Levi’s neck met his shoulder, and drowsily, Eren traced the elegant curve of Levi’s neck with his nose, mouthing at his skin. Levi moaned quietly, unconsciously exposing the length of his neck to Eren’s ministrations, still half asleep. He tightened his hold on Levi, plastering his entire front to Levi’s back and ran his left hand tenderly across the expanse of Levi’s chest, caressing his skin. He finally pressed his hand against Levi’s heart where it beat strongly against his palm. Softly, slowly, Eren laved at the back of Levi’s neck, his shoulder, tongue leaving damp trails on his skin.

_“Mmm.”_ Levi groaned under his breath, stretching his legs and intertwining it against Eren’s. His toes were cold but were quickly warmed up by the heat emanating from Eren, who always burned hot. He pressed back harder into Eren, reaching up and lacing his fingers over Eren’s which laid over his heart. He pressed soft kisses into Eren’s other arm, which supported his neck and head when he had been asleep.

Eren groaned in response, Levi’s kisses lighting small embers of heat which ignited the nerves all over his body. Slowly, he rutted into Levi’s back, cock half hard and aching.

_“Good morning, love.”_ Eren whispered, before curling his fingers over Levi’s chin so he could give him a kiss. Eren could feel Levi smiling against his lips and he smiled back, besotted. Levi was always so unguarded, so receptive, in the morning that it was Eren’s favorite time to make love. He continued rutting against Levi, kissing messily while his hands started wandering over Levi’s body. He traced circles over Levi’s hips, brushing fingers against Levi’s cock, pressed his abdomen harder against Eren so Eren’s cock could slide between his cheeks, hard and pulsing. All the while, Levi let out small little gasps, the sound swallowed by Eren’s mouth. Finally, Levi disconnected their lips, and turned in Eren’s arms. 

_“Good morning.”_ Levi mumbled back, tracing the pads of his fingers all over Eren’s face, brushing his thumb over Eren’s lower lip. Eren looked into his eyes, silvery and half lidded in repose, and kissed his thumb. Levi flushed endearingly. Eren couldn’t help but tease him a little bit more, pressing tiny kisses into his thumb, smoothing the tip of his tongue against Levi's finger. Levi just watched him, eyes fond. Eren grabbed Levi’s leg, hitched it up his waist, and pressed their cocks together.

The friction was heavenly and Levi arched his back, pressing further into Eren. Eren hid his face on Levi’s neck, breathing in the scent of his skin and the slight sweat.

“ _Mmm._ I need to get up. I’m -- _ahhh_ , su-supposed to -- _haaah, ahh_ \- be supervising the cadets’ training today-- _hnngh.”_ Levi was saying in between gasps, pleasure lighting up his body, but he made no move to get up and disengage from Eren's grasp. Precum had started to bead over their cocks and the slick was making the slide easier between their dicks. Eren’s cock pressed wonderfully on the underside of his own dick and Levi panted loudly, tightening the hold of his leg over the small of Eren’s back, pressing Eren into him further. Eren grinned, and kissed his jaw. “They would wait for you, love - they’re eager to learn from Captain Levi, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.”

Eren’s hand wandered over to Levi’s hole, tracing the rim slowly with his fingertip. He slowly pressed the pad of his index finger in, but not fully breaching him. Levi gasped, rocking into both Eren’s finger and against his cock, while Eren pressed kisses onto his neck, small bruises blooming into his skin.

“ _Haah, ahh,_ you’re such _a-ahhh --_ a brat.” Levi breathed, running his fingers over Eren’s hair lovingly. 

“ _Ah_ , but I’m your brat aren’t I?” Eren said cheekily. Satisfied with the marks he left on Levi’s neck, he went back to kissing Levi on the lips. Levi rolled his eyes but said nothing, opening his mouth so his tongue could meet Eren’s. For a while, conversation stopped, and they kissed over and over again, tongues sliding against each other, lower bodies mimicking the slow glide of their tongues. Each slide of their swollen lips brought more sparks, flaming their desires, until Eren was just gasping into Levi’s mouth, rutting almost frantically into him, close to release. Levi sucked Eren’s lower lip into his mouth, palmed Eren’s cheek affectionately and looked into Eren’s eyes.

The onslaught of emotions in Levi’s in the mornings when they made love always undid him and Eren groaned, shaking in Levi’s arms, cum spurting out of his cock in between their bodies. Levi just held onto him, murmuring adulations in between kisses, until Eren finished coming and relaxed bonelessly against Levi’s body. Levi continued running his hands over Eren’s hair and Eren sighed, pressing a languid kiss onto Levi’s bicep.

“I love you. So much - you can’t even imagine.” Eren whispered, eyes wet. Levi hummed, pressing a kiss into Eren’s hair. “ _Mmm._ I love you too, Eren.” Each pass of Levi’s fingertips against his hair felt like a brand, and every thump of Levi’s heart underneath Eren’s head told him how much his affections were returned. Eren removed his head from Levi’s chest and pressed a kiss against Levi’s mouth. For a while they just breathed, almost in unison, basking in each other.

After a while, Eren moved. Between them he could feel that Levi was still hard. Eren groped for the lube in the bedside table and rolled Levi unto his back, pressing a hand on his chest to keep him down, not that Levi was fighting him. Levi stretched out, raised one arm over his head and grabbed Eren’s wrist with his other, spreading his legs so Eren could settle in between them. The contrast between the golden tones of his skin and Levi’s paleness mesmerized him. Levi almost shone in the brightness of the sun, neck and chest flushed. His lips were red, swollen, and there was color on his high cheekbones, his hair haloed over his head. His eyes were heavily lidded.

_Beautiful_. Eren still couldn’t believe he was here right now, touching Levi. He ran his fingers down Levi’s chest, spellbound. Rather than being smooth, like his was due to his Titan regenerative powers, there were remnants of scars all over Levi’s body, memories of injuries long gone. Rather than detract from his beauty, Eren was just as, if not even more, enamoured. The scars were a testament to Levi’s strength of body and strength of will. Eren lowered his head, and traced each one of them with both his mouth and his tongue, worshipful and beyond grateful that Levi always came back to him, safe and well. 

Eren’s hand remained on Levi’s chest, stroking his sides, caressing his chest, and tweaked his nipple. At that, Levi gasped, arching his back, and pressing his chest further into Eren’s mouth. Eren’s mouth moved from Levi’s abdomen back to his nipple, circling in with his tongue before sucking into his mouth. His other hand started playing with Levi’s other nipple.

_“Haahh, Eren - it, it feels gooooood.”_ Levi moaned. Eren switched attentions to the other nipple, and in between them Levi’s dick twitched where it was pressed hard against Eren’s own abdomen. Eren moved down, pressing kisses unto Levi’s chest, his abdomen, and his pelvis. Eren licked and traced the v-line of Levi’s body, sucking bruises into the skin, and all the while Levi moaned and gasped, overwhelmed.

“Eren, _ahhh_ , more. _Please._ ” 

Eren bent Levi’s knees and ran his hands from Levi’s calves, feeling the wiry strength underneath, to Levi’s thighs, to where the harnesses left indentation on his skin. His lips followed the paths of his hands and Levi shivered, reaching out to Eren blindly, his eyes closed and his mouth open in drawn out pleasure. Eren grabbed onto one of his hands, lacing them together. Levi’s other hand grasped the sheets.

Finally, Eren reached Levi’s groin. He pressed his face in the juncture between Levi’s thighs and just breathed for a while, their interlaced hands on Levi’s abdomen while Eren used his other hand to stroke Levi’s inner thigh. Levi shuddered in anticipation as Eren neared his cock, which jutted out of his body in a bid for attention. Eren eventually moved, licking up a stripe on Levi’s cock before wrapping his lips around its head and sucking fervently. Levi moaned in response.

_“_ _Eren, mmm, so good..”_

Eren hummed in response, sucking harder. He grasped the bottom part of Levi’s dick where his lips couldn’t reach, and ran his hand up and down its length, occasionally squeezing his hand in a manner he knew Levi liked. Sure enough, Levi’s moans increased in volume, Eren’s name spilling out his lips in between gasps of pleasure. Every gasp of his name from Levi’s lips felt like an aphrodisiac, and in no time at all Eren was hard again, pulsing between his legs. Eren rutted against the bed, pressing his dick into the mattress while he focused on Levi. He hollowed out his throat, tried to bring more of Levi’s cock into his mouth, and swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth reflexively. Levi’s gasps choked off and unfolded into a loud moan, the hand grasping the blankets grabbing at Eren’s hair. He sounded utterly debauched, clutching fitfulls of Eren’s hair like he didn’t know whether to push Eren’s head down harder to take more, or to pull him off his cock. 

“ _Hnngh. Haaah - Eren, love,_ you’re so good, it feels, _hahhh,_ it feels - _ahhh_ \- it feels great. _More_ , Eren, _please - I want to come so badly.”_ Levi cried out. Eren sucked harder in response, tongue licking into the thick vein on the underside of Levi’s cock, while his hands moved to put some lube into his fingers. Eren was so hard, and Levi was just so sexy, writhing on the bed and moaning his name, that Eren was finding it so hard to control himself, his hands trembling. Eren circled Levi’s rim, and massaged it softly. Slowly, carefully, he dipped his finger inside, breaching him. Eren stopped moving his finger for a few moments, letting Levi get used to the feeling, before he massaged his insides, paying close attention to the ridges and nerves of Levi's opening. All the while, Eren continued mouthing Levi’s cock, dipping his tongue into the slit, alternating between sucking the head and laving his tongue all over the length of his dick.

When Eren felt that Levi had relaxed around him, he inserted another finger, plunging them in and out slowly and scissoring them to stretch out Levi for his cock. He crooked his fingers into the bundle of nerves forming Levi’s prostate and Levi moaned, rocking back onto Eren’s fingers, his toes curling in pleasure. Slowly, carefully, Eren fingered Levi, every now and then bumping his fingers into Levi’s prostate. Levi was groaning profanities in between gasps of breath, sounding as if he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs.

“ _Fuck,_ _haaaah,_ Eren, please. It’s - it’s enough, just - just, come up here, please, _fuuuuckk_ , _hnngh,_ I want to come -- _ahhh._ ” 

Eren pulled out his fingers with a filthy sounding squelch and released Levi's dick from his mouth. A string of saliva connected him to Levi’s cock and Levi wiped off, eyes so dark with lust that there was only the thin string of silver of his iris. Eren stretched out his full height, laying over Levi and positioning his cock over Levi’s entrance, rubbing it back and forth. With every pass it touched the sensitive nerves of his rim and Levi would suck in a breath, aching with need. Finally, Eren settled back on his haunches, slid slowly inside, and watched his cock being swallowed by Levi’s body. He groaned, both the imagery and the heat wrapping his cock overwhelming him.

Levi moaned, feeling the slide of Eren’s dick splitting him wide open. With a punched out gasp which Levi echoed, Eren finally bottomed out. He stretched out again and pressed Levi down into the mattress to get him used to the intrusion, holding himself still, legs trembling with the effort, his cock throbbing with the rapid beat of his pulse. Eren settled his elbows against Levi’s head, looking down into Levi’s blissful face. For a while, Levi just looked back into his eyes, until he eventually wrapped his legs around Eren’s waist, grabbed unto his shoulders, and smoothed a quick kiss to Eren’s lips. He took that as consent to move and slowly slid in and out, feeling every ridge of Levi’s body pressing in on his cock, groaning in pleasure. Levi moaned in unison, Eren’s cock nudging his prostate at every push back in. It was deep and slow, the lack of space between their bodies making it difficult for them to get traction - but that was how they both liked it in the mornings, unhurried, and steady, like they had all the time in the world to lavish attention on each other’s bodies. 

Levi dug his heels into Eren’ back, pressing him harder, deeper inside his body with every pistoning of Eren’s hips. Levi’s dick was trapped between their bodies, and each slide rubbed his cock against Eren’s abdomen, creating the pressure. Levi threw his head back against the pillows, his eyes rolling into the back of his head at a particular deep thrust. Eren shuddered, using one of his hands to move Levi’s hair away from his sweat plastered forehead. “ _Levi, ahhh_ \- look at me, _love_ . Tell me - _haaah_ , tell me how it feels.”

Levi tried to refocus on him, eyes hazy with pleasure, his hands pressing crescent marks into Eren’s back. “Eren - I- I, _haaaah,_ feel so full. You’re - _ahhh_ \- you’re splitting me so wide open I can’t breathe, _haaaaaaaaah.”_ Levi moaned, shivering with the pleasure skating throughout his whole body.

“ _Mmmmm,_ it feels so _goooood_ , I - _haah,_ I lo-love it when you make love to me, _hnngh_ . Deep - _ahh,_ deeper please.” He continued, words spilling out of his mouth. He tightened around Eren’s cock rhythmically, close to coming.

Eren smiled, his heart feeling like it was close to bursting. He continued sliding his cock slowly but deeply into Levi’s body, rubbing Levi’s lower lip tenderly with his thumb. Levi sucked his thumb into his mouth desperately. “I’d make love - _haaah_ \- I'd make love to you every - _ahhh,_ every single day of our lives, Levi. I’ll be in you so deep, _hnngh_ , you’ll feel the imprint of me the whole - _ahhh_ \- the whole day, and you’ll remember ho-how much time I spent loving you this morning.”

Levi flushed to the tips of his ears, Eren’s words hitting close to home in time with a deep thrust against his prostate. Eren ground against the bundle of nerves, desperate to bring Levi to the edge. Eren's thumb spilled out of Levi's mouth and Eren shifted to bracket Levi's hand within his arms. Shaking, he pulled Eren close and breathed against his lips, “Eren, _ahhh,_ I’m - _haaah_ \- I’m going to cum.” Eren pressed his mouth against Levi’s, and whispered back, “Let it go, love, _-ahh_ \- I’ll -- I’ll catch you.” 

With a cry which was swallowed by Eren’s mouth, Levi spilled between them, limbs shaking with the force of his orgasm. Eren continued sliding his dick in and out of Levi’s entrance, grinding his dick against Levi's prostate and soothed his shaking limbs, pressing kisses all over Levi's face. In a little while, Levi finally settled down, satiated. Eren lowered his face against Levi's shoulder and continued on with his pace, steadily fucking into him. Levi moaned softly, one hand against the back of Eren's neck, the other around his shoulder, caging Eren's whole body within his.

With a few more thrusts, Eren finally came and spilled inside Levi’s body. Levi sighed pleasantly, rung out, Eren’s cum spreading warmth inside. He went back to ruffling Eren’s hair, running his fingers all over the back of Eren’s neck where the first wisps of his hair started. Eren nuzzled Levi’s jaw, soothed by the rhythmic motions of Levi’s hands.

After he finally stopped coming, Eren slipped out of Levi’s body and turned to his side, facing him. Levi ignored the cum leaking out of him and ran the backs of his fingers over Eren’s cheeks. Eren’s eyes drooped lazily, but tugged Levi close, resting his palm over the small of Levi’s back. Levi hummed, and kissed Eren’s forehead. He was quiet for a long while, and Eren drowsed a little bit, thumbing idly at Levi’s hip.

“Eren, stay with me, and don’t ever let go. You promised to make love to me for the rest of our lives - I’ll hold you to that.” Levi finally whispered. “When- when I’m with you, it feels like home. Stay with me, love - promise me, Eren.”

Eren smiled. “I promise, Levi, I won't ever leave you. I love you- you mean the world to me.”

\---

When Eren woke up, he initially felt disoriented - the sun wasn’t shining, and the darkness of his room told him it was still in the middle of the night. His boxers felt sticky, clinging to his skin. 

He was alone.

All at once, it sank into him - making love to Levi, whispering words of love and adoration to each other -- it had all been a dream. It had felt so real, and the crash he felt when he realized it was just a dream - it was such a bittersweet ache that Eren almost wished he could forget he ever dreamt it.

The darkness of the night threatened to engulf him whole. 

Eren curled into his side and wept.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The story is told in Eren's point of view (sort of), so we get to see how events unfold and how he responds to them. Whether the events told in his POV are entirely correct - we'll never know. 
> 
> The last scene - they wanted to do it, and I indulged! /hides
> 
> Please read and review!


End file.
